Being Modest in an Immodest World

What is modesty?  The Webster's Dictionary definition is as follows ~ freedom from conceit or vanity ~ propriety in dress, speech, or conduct.

Of course modesty is about the heart as well as the outward appearance.  For this post we are talking about clothing because even though the heart is more important to God, our clothing and appearance is what is seen especially to men and boys who were made very visual beings by our Great Creator.

For our family it is about being obedient to the Word of God.  "Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control" 1 Timothy 2:9

The ladies in our home (Mama and 4 daughters) for the most part wear skirts and dresses.  But we are not legalistic.  From what we have studied we have not found anywhere in scripture directly forbidding the wearing of pants.  But the following scripture verse is totally appropriate for this.  "Everything is lawful for me, but not everything is profitable."  1 Corinthians 10:23  We know that we can wear pants we just don't see it as profitable for the following reasons:

Pants reveal too much of our feminine curves~ In my experience, pants are either tight and hugging the backside and hips, or loose and baggy and look frumpy.  Many pants and jeans today have sparkles and emblems to draw attention to the backside.  As Christians, we are responsible for not making our brothers in Christ stumble.  Yes, their are skirts and dresses that are extremely immodest but we are talking about below the knee length and not tight.  Is there such a thing as modest, feminine pants?  Yes, but usually they are not. 


Pants do not feel feminine ~ I feel really pretty when I put on a skirt or dress.  The way it flows when I walk makes me happy.  On several occasions I have experienced men holding doors open for me and my girls.  I have even heard a yes ma'am spoken a few times to me!!  Men show respect for ladies that dress like ladies.  Skirts help women and girls to carry themselves more like a lady should.  You are more aware of how you sit, bend and squat.  Skirts are so much more comfortable to wear.  Pants are constricting and usually unflattering.  Skirts are cooler in the summer as air can pass through and cozy in the winter with a pair of leggings underneath. 


Skirts set us apart ~  We live in a world where most people think men and women should share the same roles.  But that is not how God created us to be.  It is also a cultural statement.  Years ago styles were specifically masculine or feminine.  Today this has become very blurred.  As girls, we don't ever want to be mistaken for wearing masculine clothing.  I can't tell you how many times we have been out and people will come up to us and start talking about how we dress and that they appreciate it.  Many times we have had really good opportunities to share our faith with them.  Wearing skirts sets me apart from my husband and is a good reminder for me to be in submission to him.

You may wonder if wearing skirts and dresses is practical.  Even with very active girls skirts can be worn to do anything.  We live on a farm and our girls ride bikes, jump on the trampoline, climb trees, garden, cut grass and do farm chores including cleaning out the chicken coop all while keeping true to being modest.  Of course some activities require bike shorts or leggings under the skirt. 

Having 4 daughters to dress can be a hard task in this day.  We always pray together before we go into a thrift shop that God would help us find beautiful, modest clothing.  And we always do!!  God is so good!!  We also enjoy sewing skirts.  And we do buy a few items online.

Recently we were convicted about modest swimwear.  Even though we do not feel that going to a public swimming pool or beach is always appropriate for our family we do have opportunities to swim on occasion.  We had always purchased our daughters and myself what the world would consider "modest" for swimming.  In doing a mother/daughter study on being virtuous, we came upon a question that went something like this ~ Would you feel comfortable going over to your neighbors house in your undergarments?  OF COURSE NOT!!  How different really is swimwear?  Even the "most modest" store bought styles are skin tight, spaghetti strapped, upper back exposed, and the length of a mini skirt at best!  Not at all what we see as biblical modesty.  So we found a wonderful alternative.  Modest swim dresses.  Beautiful and stylish.  My girls get tons of compliments when they wear them.  We found them at www.katiemellas.com

How do we answer the following?

~  Do I dress modestly?

~  Does my clothing encourage men to think pure thoughts, rather than stimulating them to have sensual thoughts or desires?

~  Do I dress in such a way to draw attention to the heart and spirit of Jesus within me, rather than to my physical body?

First and foremost we need to be in submission to what our husband or father wants for his family.

"As the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything"           Ephesians  5:24.